Headline help

One thing I've always had trouble with is writing headlines. I'm not sure I've gotten much better, but this exercised helped me to analyze headlines online and recognize the trouble with them. Here are my suggestions.

A. Police seize huge amounts of cash on I-85
http://www.mainstreetnews.com/2005/Feb/J0209D.html

This makes it sound as though cops are picking up piles of bills on the side of the road. I would change it to:

“Police seize large sum in drug-related bust”

B. Missing All The Signs
www.journalnow.com

This headline on the Web site for the Winston-Salem Journal is not clear. The story is about the man who was erroneously declared dead after being hit by a car. The subhead reads “Reports detail events that led up to finding man was not dead” and provides much more information. My revision is too long, however.

“Reports uncover why live man was declared dead.”


C. The Fayettville Fast Track
www.runnersworld.com

While this headline follows all the rules about concision and relevance, it begins with the article “the,” which the guidelines in the study book suggest skipping. An easy change would contain the same number of letters, and perhaps gain more attention.

“Fast Track at Fayettville.”